“I’m not bitter,” clarifies Mashonda as being the most misunderstood thing about her. Fresh out of a high profile divorce with rapper/producer Swizz Beatz, Mashonda was approached by producers of a new VH1 reality show called Love & Hip Hop. She was asked to star as the lead, but the singer declined at first. “I just felt like being on a show, a reality show, would be too much, so I declined.” It wasn’t until best friend Emily B, also known as the mother of rapper Fabolous’ child sparked a change of heart in Mashonda’s decision. “Are you willing to come on the show to at least give Emily advice on her relationship? The producers were asking me, I thought about it and it made sense, so I said okay.”
Under the impression that her role would strictly be to help and inspire women around the world through her friendship with Emily, Mashonda agreed to join the cast of Love & Hip Hop. “I really honestly did do the show to help Emily and help women across the United States, to let them know that you’re not the only one that can go through something like this {divorce and heartbreak}.”
“In the first episode when you see Emily and myself in the restaurant, that was the first time I saw {her} in like a month and a half, so the reaction was so authentic and everything was so real. The producers loved the fact that I was able to get emotions out of her, because that was the first time Emily cried on screen. They {producers} kept asking me to come back, and I shot about eight scenes with Emily,” says Mashonda. She admits to being the closest to Emily and doesn’t communicate regularly with the other cast members. Mashonda who has been officially divorced from her ex-husband Swizz Beatz for a year, recalls parts of the show that got her emotional.
Mashonda Poses in Pink
“When I watch it, I do get emotional sometimes especially the scene when they went to my house {season finale episode}, and I look at the way I looked ten months ago, and its like wow,” Mashonda pauses then continues, “I was really going through something, I looked trashed. From the way I look now and the way I looked then, it’s a big difference.” The enormous house that Mashonda stood in was being foreclosed; she was leaving that house shown on the show to move into a town house in New Jersey with her young son Kaseem.
“Lifestyle means absolutely nothing,” she explains. “I was blessed to experience living in a house that was 21,000 sq feet, driving Bentleys, that stuff comes and goes. I watched so many women lose their selves in that and they don’t know how to act when its gone. Its not going to last forever, so when it was over, it was over. I just knew it was time to start over. I live in a town house now, and I’m happy that it’s mine.”
It was easy for Mashonda to agree to do the show after she found out buddy Emily B was doing it, but there were a few things that made the show hard to do. “No matter what I say, it’s going to be judged at the hundredth power, people are just going to look at me and judge. People are going to say I’m too emotional, or I need to get over it, or I need to move on, I’m bitter. A lot of people were actually saying {I} was strong, {I} made it out classy, {I} did everything {I} could, but when you do a show, you have to know what’s coming next, a world full of judgment.” Mashonda reveals her special way of dealing with the negativity, “I just throw it under the bus, I don’t pay it no mind,” she says. “No one really knows the truth and how it went down.” Mashonda knows the truth, and she had no regrets when recalling it on Love & Hip Hop. Although Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz were both mentioned on the show, Mashonda hasn’t heard anything as far as their reactions to it. “I didn’t lie on anyone, I didn’t discourage anyone, I kept it at a bare minimum, it is what it is.” Unfortunately though, she will not be returning for a season 2, “I just don’t feel like at this point in my life, Love and Hip Hop represents who I am, it’s just a chapter that is over,” she states. “When I shot the show, I thought that it was going to be like more of a sisterhood, but when I saw a lot of the drama and the beef, I was a little surprised, I was like wow, okay, I didn’t know this was going to be apart of what this is.”
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